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How To Give Advice

Posted on 06/12/2010 by admin

Firstly one should never give advice and if all objections and excuses have failed and you are pushed to it despite valiant efforts to the contrary the best way to proceed is as follows:

Always sound confident, as though you have given this same advice before many times and to the best of your knowledge the people you gave it to are still out of prison.

Never give advice on anything you really know about in case the advice falls flat. You can then blame the person who asked you for advice telling them that they should ask people who know about things to advise them and not you.

Never repeat the piece of advice . Your earnest hope is that they forget everything you say so you don’t want to hammer home your advice through repetition.

If they are under twenty repeat the advice as much as you like because you can then put their failure down to necessary life experience.

If they are over thirty the advice should always be the same: no I wouldn’t marry her/him.

The only advice you should ever give is a child is to ask their parents. If you are the parent tell them to ask their mother. If you are the mother and under twenty ha! paybacks’ a bitch.

Never charge for your advice. If you charge you may have to issue a receipt and receipts are admissible in court.

Never advise the French. If you don’t know why never advise any children either.

Never give advice to anyone you live with. Homelessness is also a bitch.

I hope this helps:)

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Children’s author, novelist, editor and poet.

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