Bagpipe Music<\/p>\n
It’s no go the merrygoround, it’s no go the rickshaw,
\nAll we want is a limousine and a ticket for the peepshow.
\nTheir knickers are made of cr\u00eape-de-chine, their shoes are made of python,
\nTheir halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with heads of bison.<\/p>\n
John MacDonald found a corpse, put it under the sofa,
\nWaited till it came to life and hit it with a poker,
\nSold its eyes for souvenirs, sold its blood for whiskey,
\nKept its bones for dumb-bells to use when he was fifty.<\/p>\n
It’s no go the Yogi-Man, it’s no go Blavatsky,
\nAll we want is a bank balance and a bit of skirt in a taxi.<\/p>\n
Annie MacDougall went to milk, caught her foot in the heather,
\nWoke to hear a dance record playing of Old Vienna.
\nIt’s no go your maidenheads, it’s no go your culture,
\nAll we want is a Dunlop tyre and the devil mend the puncture.<\/p>\n
The Laird o’ Phelps spent Hogmanay declaring he was sober,
\nCounted his feet to prove the fact and found he had one foot over.
\nMrs Carmichael had her fifth, looked at the job with repulsion,
\nSaid to the midwife ‘Take it away; I’m through with overproduction’.<\/p>\n
It’s no go the gossip column, it’s no go the Ceilidh,
\nAll we want is a mother’s help and a sugar-stick for the baby.<\/p>\n
Willie Murray cut his thumb, couldn’t count the damage,
\nTook the hide of an Ayrshire cow and used it for a bandage.
\nHis brother caught three hundred cran when the seas were lavish,
\nThrew the bleeders back in the sea and went upon the parish.<\/p>\n
It’s no go the Herring Board, it’s no go the Bible,
\nAll we want is a packet of fags when our hands are idle.<\/p>\n
It’s no go the picture palace, it’s no go the stadium,
\nIt’s no go the country cot with a pot of pink geraniums,
\nIt’s no go the Government grants, it’s no go the elections,
\nSit on your arse for fifty years and hang your hat on a pension.<\/p>\n
It’s no go my honey love, it’s no go my poppet;
\nWork your hands from day to day, the winds will blow the profit.
\nThe glass is falling hour by hour, the glass will fall for ever,
\nBut if you break the bloody glass you won’t hold up the weather<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bagpipe Music It’s no go the merrygoround, it’s no go the rickshaw, All we want is a limousine and a ticket for the peepshow. Their knickers are made of cr\u00eape-de-chine, their shoes are made of python, Their halls are lined with tiger rugs and their walls with heads of bison. John MacDonald found a corpse,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1774","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1774"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1774\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1774"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1774"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/daniel.footstepsbooks.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1774"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}