My uncle Allen was always full of stories all of them hilarious. It was like liquid wit, impossible to say where the ideas came from or where he was going they just poured from him, but amongst these stories were many that he claimed were true.
He went to Durham University and trained as a mathematician which he taught for several years. He played rugby and had some good friends amongst whom he counted an Englishman who had the misfortune on the rugby field to have one of his testicles pushed back up into it pre-pubescent fold to which the blood supply was starved and by the time they found out what was happening he had to have it cut away.
Many men would take this as a sign and even more of us would keep it quiet from everyone but the women or men we share beds with. Not Allen’s friend. Maybe inspired by Allen’s endless wit or his own tenacious grasp of the wiles of life, this man spent many happy hours in pubs inveigling half drunk men to bet that between him and them there were only three balls.
One happy trip to the men’s toilets and Allen’s friend found drinking became a much cheaper night out.
Allen Schoolman 1942 -2010.