I was talking to a friend this last weekend about writing things that are true about one’s family and she commented that some of the information constituted to her siblings ‘family secrets’ and of course, no other family has ever gone through what they went through so best to keep it secret. She was not of the same mind.
My mother used to tell me that when she was young she thought her family was the only dysfunctional family and everyone else must be having normal childhoods. There are two things everyone should know about this:
Firstly, there is nothing people go through as children or adults that is not a shared experience with many other people. Neither money nor privilege nor secrecy stops families all over the world being deeply dysfunctional whilst hiding the fact from the outside world. No one is ever alone in their suffering.
Secondly by keeping things secret because one is ashamed or scared people will make fun of one or for whatever reason, makes no evolutionary sense. We can never learn if we do not share our experience and if we cannot learn, we cannot change. By keeping quiet about our supposed unique dysfunctionality we doom others to share the same dysfunctions.
Whatever it is, talk about it, write about it, sing about it, paint about it.