Society is a set of rules. Implicit and explicit. Dr Bruce Perry the child psychologist demonstrated in his lifetime of work how complex the rules and interactions are and how we learn so many of them before we are three years old. Simply walking through a crowd of people has a hundred signals about eye contact, touching, manoeuvering, what we say when we bump into someone, and so forth.
Onto these social rules are added the laws of the country which specify behaviour. Define expected outcomes not all of which we are aware of but some of which we may assume, arise from our grasp of sociability.
And to these expectations on our behaviour we are able to add another layer, that of family and work, tribe or grouping. The myriad ways in which we become a part of a group within the society. And how our behaviour changes inside that group to mirror other members. We become a part of something by being non-controversial.
These are complex psychological issues. It is little wonder that some people find them oppressive and it is no wonder at all that a great deal of what we derive as ‘contentment’ and all of what we know as discontent, flows from them.
Despite this we also have a set of rules for people who make mistakes. Not always very forgiving but none-the-less there. It is comforting to know that although we design intricate social systems we are creative enough to allow shocks to the system.
Perhaps the most important rules are those about what to do when you break the rules.